Insomnia?

Recently, I have had problems getting to sleep.  I don't know if it is clinically insomnia however.  Typically, the problems I am having is getting to sleep.  Mostly, a few weeks ago, I was going to bed at a 'normal' time of around 10 or 11 and basically lying in bed thinking, "I should be doing X, Y, Z..."  Then, I would not actually get to sleep until 2 or 3 in the AM.  I finally decided that this wated 3-4 hours could be spent in productive activities.  So, against my better judgement, I decided to wait to go to bed until I felt I was absolutely about to pass out.  Now, my sleep schedule has shifted to going to sleep around 3 in the AM and getting up between 9 and 11.  (Note, that classes are held in my program from 2-6 in the evening.  So, this schedule works for when I need to be places).  I have started taking melatonin supplements to get to sleep when I need to, but often feel snowed the next half day after taking these.  I don't have any big revelations about this, I'm not sure quite what to make of it.  Is this normal?  Will I regret the decision to shift my schedule later?  I'm not sure yet.  Should I sacrifice sleep in order to to do more work.  I know that learning is not converted to memory until you sleep on it.  So, in some ways, cutting down on sleep is going to cut down on my learnin
g, right?  I won't know the answers till after the next exam... Based on the results I will be able to tell you how it worked.

Everything you do is for the purpose of MedSchool....

In Medical School, everything you do is for the purpose of success on the next exam.  If you sleep, eat, take a nap, watch a TV show, visit with family, it is usually for the purpose of recharging yourself for the next bout of studying.  While I do still do a measured amount of leisure activities, they are all done for the purpose of taking a break and recharging my batteries for the next round of effort.  Leisure is not done for just the purpose of leisure.

Something I've been struggling with

I haven't been in a true classroom situation in several years.  What I remember from my undergrad is that people don't like people who always answer the questions the profs ask.  I'm not saying that I always answer the questions they give correctly, but as I do sit in the front row, it is easier for me to propose an answer.  Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who tries to answer these questions.  Part of my learning curve the first week was to realize when I was sure / not sure if I knew something.  I certainly blurted out some dumb answers.  For example, I said that glucose would be transported by facilitated diffusion.  Wrong-o!  However, I do have more experience than many of the people in the class and because of that I probably do have a more in-depth knowledge on certain topics.  These guys will have an additional 10 years of doctor income that I won't have so I might as well get in a few right answers, eh?    I also am wondering why I feel the need to answer the questions at times.  Why don't I just keep the right answer in my head and not feel the need to call it out?  I think part of it is that I have had a bad run, recently and sort of need the confidence.  I need to feel like I know what I am doing.  Another aspect is that having been a teacher, I know what the emptiness of blank stares feels like.  I feel like I am helping out by proposing the right answer to a question.  Getting up in front of a large class of blank faces is nerve wracking no matter how often you do it.  There always will be some aspect of nerves.  So, in my mind anyway I am helping out the prof by showing that I am actually listening.  Whether or not the prof perceives it this way I will never know.  Finally, In this program we are all auditioning for getting into MS1 next year.  So, I feel like if I am interactive and perceived by the profs as being somewhat not-braindead. Then, if they influence the admissions decision at all, it might give me a bit of a leg up.  However, there is the chance that if I am too aggressive in answering questions then I may alienate possible alliances with peer groups and the profs would notice that too.  They might think I have no social skills, or a big ego.  Part of it also is that I have very little fear of public speaking after teaching for awhile, so I'm not afraid to say the wrong thing.  Others may be struggling with this.  There has to be a fine balance there somewhat.  For sure, I have sat on some answers to questions just because I don't want to be the one that everyone dislikes in class.  And, like I've mentioned before I have a distinct advantage in that my assigned seat is in the front row.  I can imagine that someone all the way in the back may not even be able to be heard by the prof.

I guess I will take it as a blessing that I feel I know most of the answers to questions profs ask in class; with the understanding that I need to strike a balance between not answering all the questions and also not being totally silent.

PS I'm almost certain that this is something that a Guy would not even consider as a problem.  I think it is part of the female conditioning process to be told that you have to be quiet / demure / retiring.   "Oh, golly I just don't know; my female brain just can't handle this hard stuff.... "  I think females do this to other females more so.  If one female ignores the social custom of not speaking out the others will respond negatively. 

Reflections on this past month...

First of all, I have learned SO much.

While working in a neuroscience research lab, and also in a pharma company, I became very familiar with a narrow range of disease states, Parkinson's disease, Schizophrenia, Bipolar disorder, and the cellular processes and principles related to those disease states.  The basic science principles I have learned in the past few weeks has ultimately helped me to understand to a greater extent what I thought I already understood. 

Second, I have met so many interesting people

I am lucky that my assigned seat in class has me sitting in the front row.  I am also lucky that I like the people who are assigned to sit immediately around me.  I thought I would be the only person over 30, but that is not the case.  There are even people older than me, (not many though).  There has been culture shock at time when the younger students may not get a reference or two.

It is hard to believe that it has been about 6 weeks since this program has started.