This post is mostly related to family interactions. For sure, I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, 5, 3 or 1 year ago. I feel that as a person I am continually evolving based on my previous life experiences. At the same time at the age of 32 most people would agree that my personality is fairly formed. Is it? I also have no doubt that medical training and the stresses and victories involved with it will also cause me to become a 'different person'. My fear is that this new person I become may not be compatible with my current family relationships. The mere title of "doctor" may change people's opinions of me for better or worse. If I am perceived as being 'rich' will family members come to me for money? How will they react if I say YES or NO? (If I were to say YES I would imagine that they would feel that further financial support would be predicated on a continued positive relationship and if I were to say NO I would imagine that they would feel that I am simply being an asshole.)
Also, it is very common for romantic relationships to break apart during med school. Most stories I have heard have been of a serious dating relationship breaking up. My husband and I have been a couple for over 10 years. I am willing to say that we are a fairly stable couple. But I feel that Med School can make any relationship challenging esp. when you add the stress of making a cohabitation relationship into a long distance one (whether that distance is 362 miles away or 2258.811 miles away in a foreign country). Even in the most ideal situation I would imagine that it is going to be difficult. I recently found this forum on SDN; however, I cannot seem to find official stats on this Med School Divorce Stats. Clearly I don't want a divorce but it seems that the stats are out there.
What if I become more assertive, more augmentative, more used to getting my own way, more judgmental, or cynical when listening to a purported natural cure someone relays to me that they read in 'hippie weekly'? What if I fail in this attempt and become despondent? Will this personality change make it impossible for me to carry on my relationships with my friends and family? What if the cost of pursuing my dream is loosing everyone I now have close to me?
I think were all changing and growing all the time. However, you seem to be mentally preparing for divorce?
ReplyDeleteI like the part about people and family thinking your rich because your a doctor. With student loans today, that won't happen for a long time.
I guess not more so than one should be prepared for anything. I guess that this is more in response to what I have been reading and am responding to the statistics. Going to med school can be toxic to one's relationship, and I just know that that is one possibility out there in a world of possibilities.
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